Ever feel like you have no idea where you fit in? Boy do I feel that way often.
I want to share a few experiences with you all and encourage you today.
Kyley attends dance class at a local church, it's a praise dance class, and as far as I am aware every child in the class is homeschooled.
We absolutely love it there, it's our 4th year with this teacher and we love her so much.
The first year, it was a small group of girls, and the mom's were all pretty close, also keeping in mind most of our kids hadn't started school yet, or had just started and were in private schools mostly.
Move on to second year, A lot more homeschool kids joined, and me, at the time wanting to send Kyley to school, I felt very out of place most weeks. I know they weren't excluding me, it just seemed like WHOA this is a whole new playing field to me.
Last year was a blur. Started homeschooling, Had a baby. you know, typical my life is crazy stuff.
So what I really want to share with you is my experience this year with the other mom's in the group.
I tend to like to talk to all of them, but I'm very intimidated. You see... (and you guys know you've known these people so don't look at me like I'm crazy) there are several "super mom" s in the group and many for many different reasons.
a. the mama who is so softspoken with her kids and gentle, and I adore her. She is always encouraging her kids to think about what they should do as a child who is Christ-like and steers them in the right direction. Ya'll I'm jealous. Why can't parenting and disciplining be that easy for me? I struggle. But more on that later...
b. the crafty mama, every week there's a new project or something of the sort, and she has such fun ideas. love her too, (annnnd you can follow her blog if you'd like, hope you don't mind me sharing Jen). Eek I only WISH I had a tenth of an ounce of creativity and fun as she has. <---- jealous here too.
c. the party mom. this mom is always on top of things and throws a great party. Seriously, for every party we've ever had she is on it. Decorations, cute little bags for the kids, whatever. Under achiever over here does good to remember to pick up whatever it is I have to bring on the way to the class. Once again, Jealous.
d. well prepared mom. this mama always has fun toys for her kids to play with while they wait, and is always in the floor playing with them and teaching them something. I always fail to make sure Elijah has something to play with. It never fails. (thankfully he loves Isaiah enough, that just having him around makes his day fun) Jealous of this one too.
And it was said of another mom this week, that oh she looks so well rested all the time and is so patient.
That's where this blog post was inspired. Because I wanted to scream, what do you guys have that I don't?
I walk into dance exhausted and excited the Elijah will have a playmate for an hour. I welcome the few minutes to spend with ADULTS, and chat about things, that may pertain to our kids sometimes, but it's adult conversation.
And then I started to get discouraged. I started thinking about all of these mamas and how I envy some of their skills.
I'm going... Ok, here I am a children's pastor's wife (why am I even stereotyping myself here? stupid mistake of all mistakes?) and I can't keep myself together and well presented. I'm NOT patient when I deal with my kids, I certainly am not the fun mom who makes things for her kids, and I am NOT a party planner. I don't look well rested when I go ANYWHERE, because well. I'm NOT well rested. Go figure.
And then, God whispered to me... Hey, nobody's perfect. (yeah, you know you wanna sing it... go on and let a little Hannah Montana out...)
For real though. No one is perfect. I see the things in these women that I would love. But I'm almost certain they feel JUST. LIKE. ME. in other areas. I'm almost certain that they struggle somewhere. I may not see it, but we're human and we ALL long to be better at something, and we all fail sometimes.
So today... I stop comparing myself to others. I stop thinking about what I would like to be. And I just be. I do the best I can, to live up to the standards God has called me to. I do the best I can to train my children up in a Godly way. And yes, I learn a few pointers from all of these mothers (and while I speak specifically, we all know people like them).I take what I can and implement it into my own life. I let the rest roll off my back or store it away for future use. Hey, we're all in this together and we're all learning.
Thank you Lord for your sweet whispers to remind me that I don't have to be perfect because YOU are and in YOU I find my rest.