Saturday, January 23, 2010

Advice Needed...

Derek and I are totally out of ideas...

HOW do you get your kids to clean their rooms without standing over them CONSTANTLY?

I for serious, have to be IN THE ROOM with Kyley to get her to pick up anything. It doesn't matter how much we discipline her, reward her, whatever she will NOT do it.

She has this misconception that cleaning her room means us cleaning together, and I'm sorry it's just not happening. She's old enough now to put her toys away on her own. *sigh*

Any advice is welcome. Like I said she hasn't responded to discipline, bribes, rewards, taking toys away, nothing of the sort.

Please help this mommy who's tired of looking at a messy room and having to clean it herself.


  1. Here via precious 3

    First, take a deep breath. Pray & firgure out the root issue: rebellion, laziness, too big a job for her age, etc.

    Second, make it easy for them to obey you. The rules & consequences have to be very clear and age appropriate. And maybe clean-up right before dinner and impose a rule of no more pulling out toys after dinner. Read books or play music and dance instead.

    Third, give it time. Even as grown-ups don't we all try to get out of chores if we can?

    And lastly, don't let it phase you. It's just a short season of mothering. Soon, you'll enter the golden years when they absolutely love to please you and help you(5-7years).

    Our most extreme measure was: put all the toys up where they couldn't get to them. And only leave a few boxes they could easily clean up. So we added shelves and put them in other rooms/closets etc. Then rotate toys. Also, all their toys fit in storage tubs, or shoeboxes (like in daycares/preschool) so it's easier to put away.

    They also have to ask permission to get some special toys down.

    Ok, that's a lot. I hope some of it helps. God bless!

  2. Frugal Friend has great advice :)

    We also keep the toys in separate tubs, and tell them they may only get out one type at a time. That way they only have to clean up Barbies or ponies instead of everything at once. Certain things, like the dress up stuff, they must ask permission to have out. Now, they do break the rules and get out 4 tubes because they want the Barbies to have ponies, a lego castle, and a Polly pocket court. But we tell them that we did not help make the mess, and we cannot help clean the mess since we also have our own responsibilities. If there are too many toys for them to clean, then some toys can go away. Heidi actually gave in to this! She packed up a box of things and gave them back to us. If they refuse to clean, we give them a time limit and whatever is not cleaned up will go in "time out" for 2 days, a week, or month, or away altogether depending on how disobedient or how bad their attitude has been. We also post scriptures to help them know God wants us to be responsible with cheerfulness. This seems to help. If they know it is God's rule, and not just mom and Dad's rule, they are more likely to honor it. We have had these rules since the girls were 4, and they clean their room every day, sometimes more than once a day. Sometimes they have bad attitudes about it, sometimes they have great attitudes. But they know mom will not help, and don't even ask. Maybe this is harsh, but it's how I was raised and it works for us.

    Pray, and pray with her. I know you will figure out the answer, and she will come around. :)

  3. I didn't read the previous comments..

    but have you tried taking toys away? I don't have much advice because Lucas isn't at the stage yet, but I always remember my parents taking toys away as discipline. ALthough I don't know if it worked or not... :)

    good luck friend!

  4. Wow, the previous commenters had such great advice! My daughter is too young for me to share anything constructive with you, but I was looking for some "ideas" to file away for my own future knowledge. Let us know if anything ends up doing the trick, will ya?

    Confessions From A Working Mom